Mediation is a voluntary process. The people who are having the dispute (also known as “parties”), may participate or withdraw at any time and not affect their legal rights. Mediation is a cost effective and beneficial alternative to litigation, which takes longer than mediation. Furthermore, the emotional stress that builds up during litigation usually spills over onto the friends, family and co-workers of the parties.

Mediation is confidential. It allows the parties to keep their story out of a public court room and to maintain their dignity. For example, where adultery is the cause of a divorce, the adulterer may not want his/her case presented in an open court room. Furthermore, the adulterer may want to spare his/her partner the embarrassment of a deposition and open trial.

Mediation is a constructive and dignified process for resolving conflict. As a family mediator, my aim is to assist people in dispute to change their lives for the better and to ensure that they maintain their dignity.

Mediation assists parents to minimize the emotional trauma to their children. While a couple may be ending a relationship as spouses, the couple will continue to be parents for years to come. Parents who want to do what is in the best interest of their children will work to reduce their children’s exposure to the parents’ dispute and to decrease the emotional stress for the children.

Mediation is not marriage counseling. But, mediation allows a couple to obtain a divorce with significantly less pain than the couple would experience with litigation. Through mediation the parties can effectively deal with the issues of child custody, child support, visitation, spousal maintenance or alimony, and the division of property, assets and debt.

Getting your spouse to mediation can be challenging. When spouses are divorcing, they often do not trust each other anymore. Therefore, when one spouse suggests to the other that they go to mediation, the other spouse may refuse to go simply because there is no trust and therefore whatever one spouse suggests to the other will be categorically ignored, discounted, denied or refused.

If the parties have already retained attorneys and begun a divorce proceeding, the parties may still use mediation. Mediation allows the parties to avoid nasty, expensive court battles. In mediation the parties maintain control of their situation. Mediation allows the parties to be present at all times, to discuss every issue, reach a balanced, equitable settlement, and to decide their futures.

How long mediation takes depends in great part upon the parties. The length of time will be affected by the complexity of the parties’ estates and their interpersonal dynamics. If the parties do more work outside the session, collecting necessary information, and sharing and discussing the information, the parties may be able to reach a settlement faster and therefore spend less time in mediation. If the parties remain focused on the past and/or fight a great deal rather than devoting their energy to forward thinking, problem solving, and negotiation, the entire mediation process may take longer.

Mediation is a cost effective alternative to litigation. Where parties are committed to preserving their kids’ college funds, as well as their own retirement funds, a cost effective alternative to litigation is appealing.

The cost of mediation is usually split by the parties. It is possible to mediate the issues of separation and divorce and obtain a legally binding agreement. Similarly, if each party were to obtain his/her own attorney to litigate the matter the total cost would be significantly greater.

Mediation can be scheduled in two to three hour sessions in a relaxed and supportive environment. Both parties are present and discussion is informal. At times it may be beneficial to meet with each party alone. As the parties proceed through the mediation process, they may request that the mediator put their agreement in writing.

Mediation substantially reduces legal fees by limiting the lawyer’s function to reviewing the final agreement and serving as a legal consultant during the process. Parties who have not consulted with an attorney during the process should have the final agreement reviewed by an independent attorney before signing it.

Should the parties opt for litigation rather than mediation the parties will have a strange man or a woman in a black robe decide what is fair, and possibly the terms of the settlement. If the parties prefer to craft their own destinies, mediation will allow the parties to take charge and to decide the terms of the settlement.

To schedule a mediation session, please contact us at (410) 433-4040.